Momma-tude is the attitude of a Mother. This Mom attitude is not one to be ashamed of but rather one to be admired. But, what exactly is a Mother’s attitude? It’s part of her personality. It makes her who she is. It helps define her in her everyday life. Momma-tude is also a common reaction or feeling amongst a group of Mom’s. There are many types. Which one are you?
The Accident waiting to happen Mom
- Please stop crying before you drown in your tears.
- Get down from there before you fall off and break your neck.
- You know, chewing with your mouth closed prevents lock jaw.
- You’re going to end up in the same type of trouble when you get older if you don’t learn from your brother.
- Don’t touch it. You don’t know where that’s been.
- This place is full of germs.
- Talk like that will get you arrested.
- Don’t try it…
- Foods ready. Come on everyone. It’s time to gain 10 lbs!
- That’s not a toy. Put that thing away for the next 20 years!
- What were you thinking?
- You are going to cause a nose bleed
- Just think about how bad that could have been
The Over-Protective Mom
- Oh honey, stop crying before you bust a blood vessel.
- (Catches mischievous toddler immediately as he begins to fall off counter.) How did you get up there this time? One day you’re going to kill yourself.
- You will choke if you chew with your mouth open.
- I need you to go to your room for your own safety.
- Ew, do you know how many bacteria is on the bottom of those feet?
- You don’t know who touched that before you.
- I know you didn’t just say what I thought you said.
- That’ll kill you…
- Eat. You need your strength
- That’s not to touch.
- You obviously weren’t thinking
- (Finger in nose) EW! *Squirts hand sanitizer on her hands first, then child’s.
- I’m gonna show you what I mean in a minute
The Sarcastic Mom
- Is that the loudest you can cry? Give it up.
- Climbing on the counter again? How’d that work out for ya last time?
- I don’t always need to see what your food looks like when you chew.
- Do you think you can raise your brother better than me?
- Keep that little footsie to yourself.
- Great, now you probably have staph.
- Really? Really!
- Go ahead, see what happens…
- You don’t like to eat green beans? Well I don’t like to see you pick your nose at the table.
- What are you planning on doing with that?
- You really thought that would work?
- Digging for gold?
- I’m going to knock you into next week if you don’t stop
The Emotional Mom
- *Sees baby crying- cries along*.
- (See toddler climbing on counter) Quickly swoops baby up and hysterically says, “you could have died!”
- I remember when you were first beginning to eat solid food.
- I don’t know where I went wrong. (cries)
- Don’t you love each other?
- When you were a baby, you touched everything.
- After everything I’ve done for you, I can’t believe you said that.
- P l e a s e don’t
- I made one of everyone’s favorite food!
- You are too young to be doing that.
- I’m praying for you child.
- You are embarrassing me
- I can’t take this anymore
The in-yo-face Mom
- Keep crying and I’ll give you something to cry about!
- You’ve been warned. You are not a monkey!
- Could you chew any louder?
- Do you want to be punished too? No? Then stay out of it!
- You think you’re a bully? Try that on me.
- Did you see a sign that said Touch Me?
- Oh no you didn’t just say that.
- I mean it!!
- Eat what I cooked or be hungry.
- Take your hands out of your pants!
- Use your head for something other than a hat rack.
- Do you want your friends to call you a booger picker?
- Don’t make me jap slap you
The Strict Mom
- (Baby begins to cry) Zip it!
- (See Toddler climbing on counter) Time out!
- If you can’t chew with your mouth closed, go to our room.
- Go to your room. You are both grounded now.
- No Wi-Fi. Go to your room.
- Stop it.
- I heard that!
- Let me see your hands. GO wash them again with Soap this time.
- Stop…no really, STOP!
- The next time you think of something like that, just don’t.
- (Smacks hand of booger picker) No
- oh…Oh…OH!! You’ve been warned
The Proper Mom
- It’s okay to cry as long as you wipe each tear independently and before it has been on your cheek more than one minute.
- Our feet go on the ground.
- We chew with our mouths closed.
- Your interference was not requested to discipline your brother.
- Keep your hands and feet to yourself.
- You look with your eyes, not with your hands.
- (Ignores anything child says that she is not proud of)
- We mustn’t do that
- Sit up straight. Don’t slouch at the table.
- I am ignoring what you are doing.
- Think before you act.
- My child doesn’t do that.
- Surely you didn’t just do that
The Extremely Religious Mom
- Lawd help, that baby can feel the spirit!
- For Heaven’s sake, please stop climbing. I’m going to pray about this.
- Did you pray before you started eating?
- Honor your Mother and Father.
- Turn the other cheek.
- You better be asking for forgiveness if you touched that.
- (Shocked) You kiss me with that mouth!
- You’ll need to pray about that before you do it
- Speak when spoken to.
- You are going to go blind.
- I pray the Lord will be your conscience.
- God sees everything.
- I’m praying for you
The Hypochondriac Mom
- (baby crying) Please stop crying before you get another ear infection!
- Ahhhhh! You could’ve broken a bone!!
- I hope you don’t chip a tooth chewing like that.
- It’s not emotional healthy for you to interfere in your brother’s punishment.
- Stop. One of you will bruise.
- Quick!! Wash your hands!!!!
- Great!!! You said it.
- Stop before you die
- Did you wash your hands?
- Go wash your hands!
- You didn’t think this through, did you?
- Get your finger out of your nose, do you even remember where it’s been?
- You could’ve been killed
The Everybody’s Mother
- (crying child) Oh, come here baby…you need a hug.
- Get down (said with BIG eyes).
- It’s rude to chew with your mouth open. (said with a smile)
- Best stay out of it.
- I don’t want to see that again.
- Did I just see you touch that?
- You want to repeat what you just said?
- I wouldn’t do that if I were you….
- Eat supper with us 🙂 Sit down. Now!
- What are you expecting to find down there?
- Next time, you may want to think about it before doing it.
- Need a tissue?
- Not good
The Gentle Mother
- (Child crying) Oh honey, it’s not that bad. I love you!
- Gently sweeps child off counter and to the floor- Be careful darling.
- Close your mouth to chew sweetheart.
- Although it takes a village to raise a child, I am doing just fine.
- Hands are for hugging, not for hitting.
- Now now, we must not touch.
- I’m sure you don’t mean that.
- Stop. Please don’t.
- I hope you like what I made.
- Could you go do that in your room?
- Your mind is powerful. Think before you speak or act.
- (Hands tissue) Blow your nose.
- Oh no. I can’t believe you would do that.
The Frustrated Mother
- You think crying will save you?
- (Toddler climbing on counter) Squeezes eyes closed then back open. Hand on hip. Get DOWN.
- Ew, close your mouth to chew. I don’t want to see that!
- I don’t need your help parenting your brother!
- If you make me get up, it’s going to be 100x worse for you.
- Good grief, if you don’t stop touching everything, we are going to get kicked out of here!
- Did you just say that?
- I’m serious as a heart attack!
- You MUST wear pants to the table.
- Stop playing with your p*nis
- What were you thinking? Oh wait, you weren’t!
- Stop eating your boogers!
- You are going to wish you never did that