Everyday is an Adventure. Embrace it

Posts tagged ‘Mom’

Becoming a Mom

Bruner BoysThat moment you realize you are a Mom!

How to describe that moment? That moment when it hits you, when it all comes down like a ton of bricks and reality steps right in your face – You’re a Mom, a Mother, the one trusted source of information about vomit, diarrhea, diaper rash & common illnesses.

Not during pregnancy, although many women experience revelation then, but when that young one is in your arms. That’s when it’s real.  That moment when the mental connection is made. I’ve heard some say it was in the hospital it hit them, but not for me. Oh no, it was after I got home. Suddenly, I realized how helpful the hospital staff had been during the first couple of days. They didn’t come home with me. There was no help really!

Nothing prepares you for it – not books, movies, seminars, or pregnancy classes. Nope, no stories you hear or conversations will prepare you for the inevitable; that fateful moment that suddenly shakes your inner being like a banana tree.

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It can happen multiple times, through multiple ages of the child’s life, and can be as small as a thought or as profound as a huge chilling emotion sweeping over you. You know, the one that takes your breath away and leave you feeling shell-shocked? Yep, that’s the one I’m writing about.

For me, the pregnancy was not it. Not with my first-born anyway. Not carrying him, not the short easy labor, not even the nurses bringing him to me created the reality that I had entered into the everlasting realm of motherhood. Nope. I carried on as though completing a task. Like getting from point A to point B.  I marked off the mile markers as I went until one day, when he was about 3 weeks old, it hit me.

I was laying in bed with him beside me nursing. He was making little sounds. He was so relaxed. It was like he trusted me already and didn’t even know me. He looked up at me with his little eyes full of love as his little hand patted my arm.  BOOM!  Right there, right then I realized I was a Mom.  I started to cry.  Emotions swept over me like an avalanche and I was completely consumed. 20 years later I can still feel that same love & emotions sweep over me when he calls.

Chrissy +Nicky

Then a couple of years later, my life replayed the previous 2 years. I was pregnant again with another boy.  I thought man, I got this! I mean, I had already been there, done that, got the t-shirt!

Nope, it all hit me again. He was about 6 days old…my oldest was laying beside me & new baby was in my arms. We were home. I realized this was a forever gig. And I realized that although I didn’t apply for the position, I knew it was meant to be 🙂

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Here they are today. Those 2 babies grew up and they’re so much bigger than me. My biggest fear, the one I wrestled with the most with throughout their infancy & toddler years – never came true (PRAISE GOD).

My biological mother gave me away. She didn’t want me. Her biological mother gave her away. She wasn’t wanted either. All the women in my biological family seemingly did the same thing. I don’t want to be like that. Please Jesus, please don’t let me do it. No matter what comes, keep my mind strong. Keep me fiercely independent and protect my mental state. Please, please, please!!

God is merciful. I kept them…plus 2 girls and another boy God sent me. 🙂

 

100 Reasons Why You Should Call Your Mom

100 Reasons Why You Should Call Your Mom… No, really – call her!

I know the drill, I’ve done it myself.  It’s been a while since you spoke to your mom (or accepted one of her calls) so you are thinking…maybe, just maybe – you should call her? YES, you should… and here are 100 reasons why!

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    1. She is your mother for better or for worse.
    2. She did the best she could at the time and she always wished it was better.
    3. She thinks about you every time she sees someone your age.
    4. She misses you dearly
    5. She likes to see and hear about your successes.
    6. She is your biggest fan.
    7. She thinks about you every time she speaks with someone on the phone that talks the way you do.
    8. Although you are human,  you can do no wrong.
    9. She is proud of your accomplishments. Even the little ones that you don’t even remember.
    10. She loves you.
    11. You took up residence in her body for almost a year without paying rent or helping buy groceries!
    12. You were the apple of her eye.
    13. She was your primary dietician during  your formative years.
    14. She put off things she wanted to do, so she could spend time with you.
    15. She bought you that article of clothing you were dying for instead of going to the dentist to have her teeth worked on.
    16. She always fed you. Even if she was hungry after supper, she made sure you were full & happy.
    17. She cleaned up your vomit & probably didn’t complain.
    18. She held you tight when you were sick and sat up with you all night. Although she knew she would catch your illness, she did it to comfort you.
    19. She always dressed you first and didn’t take much time for herself.
    20. You were her world…and probably still are.
    21. When you broke something, she took the fall for it.
    22. She stood between you and many butt-bustings. She was your shield.
    23. Your mother is the only woman in your life that will never judge you for being you.
    24. She may be spastic at times, but she handled all your crisis Like-a-Boss.
    25. She would improvise when you ate her office work…or peed on it.
    26. Your Mother protected you from sharp objects.
    27. She cuddled and reassured you when you were sad.
    28. When you were lonely, she was your friend.
    29. She protected you from the boogie man & the zombie’s in the walls.
    30. When you are hurting, her heart is breaking.
    31. She celebrated all your tiny victories.
    32. She celebrated your big Victories
    33. Your Mom gave you breathe and you took hers away
    34. Your hopes were her aspirations for you
    35. She fixed your favorite foods often to make you happy.
    36. Your dreams were her goals
    37. She paved the way for your success.
    38. She worked to help you in school and then came home and worked there.
    39. Your mom encouraged others to see the best in you, even when you were at your worst.
    40. She may not have kept the house immaculate, but she made sure your clothes were always clean.
    41. She skipped naps while watching you sleep.
    42. Your Momma gave it everything she had!
    43. She tried to dazzle your friends to make you cool.
    44. She liked your music even when it gave her a headache.
    45. She baked your favorite sweets to make you happy.
    46. She told every teacher that doubted you where they could go!
    47. She stayed awake to make sure you were breathing.
    48. Your Mother stayed up late at night worrying about you.
    49. She called everyone she knew to track you down when you were late coming home.
    50. Moms have a special heart given by God.  Her heart misses you.
    51. She sees you with eyes of confidence.
    52. Her arms are always ready to hug you.
    53. She’s always waiting on your call.
    54. She watches he driveway…incase you might drive up.
    55. Even though she may disagree, she will take your side.
    56. She removed gum from your hair patiently.
    57. She cleaned the stains out of your underwear!
    58. She would suffer a million calamities for you.
    59. She has patience with you.
    60. Your Mother was purposely objective to your mate for your emotional safety.
    61. Your children are her crown in life.
    62. She loves your pets like your children if you do not have any.
    63. Her life was put on hold to raise you, and she never regretted it.
    64. She delights in your career and brags on you regularly to her friends.
    65. She prays for you all the time.
    66. When she shops, she thinks of things that you need or would like.
    67. She celebrates your birthday more so than you do!
    68. Your Momma remembers how tiny your hands were.
    69. She is always lighting a candle for your life.
    70. She knows your vulnerabilities and keeps them safely secret.
    71. Her hips are slightly off-center because she held you so much while you were young.
    72. A mom never forgets the time you only wanted her to comfort  you.
    73. She is a fixer – always striving to help you fix something.
    74. Mothers come in many forms – not all biological!
    75. Even if she wasn’t really your mom, but just a lady you looked to like-a-mom, she knows that and never forgot.
    76. God changes the mind of a Mother. This is why you think she is a little crazy.
    77. One day, she will not be there to answer the phone.
    78. A day may come when she doesn’t remember who you are.
    79. There may be a day that she can no longer speak verbally.
    80. She has carried the weight of every tiny thing she could have done better on her shoulders.
    81. She remembers every single mistake she made – and is hard on herself.
    82. You can release her from the Mother-Guilt she carries.
    83. She is a strong woman your mate should look up to.
    84. Every little wrinkle on her face she wears as a trophy from your childhood.
    85. Each gray hair on her head is a reminder for her of what she once was to you.
    86. She sees herself in your face.
    87. She realizes when she has gone too far.
    88. Your Mom knows when she should stay silent, but can’t help herself.
    89. She invested her entire life into you.
    90. She still dreams about when you where a toddler.
    91. Her mind races with thoughts about how you are.
    92. She still wants to help you.
    93. Her life was forever changed by you.
    94. Her thoughts were forever changed by you.
    95. You made her stronger than she thought she could be.
    96. She feeds off your energy and thriving life.
    97. Every busted vein in her legs is a sign of her love – walking the floor with you while you were a fussy baby.
    98. She never regretted you!
    99. You were not an accident.
    100. You make her the happiest woman alive when you call!!

 

Mother’s Day Gifts 2017

PhotoGrid_1493659042955You’re a mom, so what do you really want for Mother’s Day?

You know your kids (and maybe even your husband) are doing internet searches on what to get you. Will those searches return answers that really fit you?  Will they remember something you said you liked several years back? Does it even matter? Are you one of the mothers that finds delight in emotion rather than material objects?

I am one of those matronly mothers now and I don’t feel like Mother’s Day really applies to me this year.  I am still a mom, but the kids are all grown and on their own.  Sometimes I am really excited when I think about the fact that I am an “empty-nester”.  It is in these glorious years when you get your life back. You can finally cater to yourself and your spouse.  It’s the time for creating new memories and living again before your health fails or you can’t get around as well anymore.  I should be happy, right?

Mother’s Day 2017 has me thinking about how blessed I was to raise boys….a lot of them. The blessings continued with some beautiful girls the Lord allowed me to have for a bit too. Everyone is grown now though and none of them need me. Isn’t that the biggest part of being a Mom? Everyone needs you! You are the rock.

I found several great websites with many Mother’s Day gift suggestions straight from the intellectual minds of Moms. Many of them make so many wonderful suggestions, but I find myself just wishing I could be with the kids this year. I long for a day with all the kids together at one time. I wish I could hug them all at once (although my arms are way to short for that).

Anyway, please enjoy the recommended Mother’s Day gifting solution below:

Droidpile

Eid Mubarak 2017

The Spruce

A Little Bit Of CC

My Kids’ Adventures

teach junkie

mommablogsalot

SCRAP HACKER

Mom Knows Best

The Dime Store Gypsy

Mud Boots & Pearls

Cook With 5 Kids

Now 100.5

Classy Cheapskape

Lady Emila Writes

Pinot & Peep Toes

Gless House

Enjoy Flowers

Home on the Corner

Paper House

Momma-tude

Momma-tude is the attitude of a Mother.  This Mom attitude is not one to be ashamed of but rather one to be admired. But, what exactly is a Mother’s attitude? It’s part of her personality. It makes her who she is. It helps define her in her everyday life. Momma-tude is also a common reaction or feeling amongst a group of Mom’s.  There are many types. Which one are you?

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Which Momma-tude are you?

The Accident waiting to happen Mom

Common phrases:

  1. Please stop crying before you drown in your tears.
  2. Get down from there before you fall off and break your neck.
  3. You know, chewing with your mouth closed prevents lock-jaw.
  4. You’re going to end up in the same type of trouble when you get older if you don’t learn from your brother.
  5. Don’t touch it. You don’t know where that’s been.
  6. This place is full of germs.
  7. Talk like that will get you arrested.
  8. Don’t try it…
  9. Foods ready. Come on everyone. It’s time to gain 10 lbs!
  10. That’s not a toy. Put that thing away for the next 20 years!
  11. What were you thinking?
  12. You are going to cause a nose bleed
  13. Just think about how bad that could have been

The Over-Protective Mom

Common phrase:

  1. Oh honey, stop crying before you bust a blood vessel.
  2. (Catches mischievous toddler immediately as he begins to fall off counter.) How did  you get up there this time? One day you’re going to kill yourself.
  3. You will choke if  you chew with your mouth open.
  4. I need you to go to your room for your own safety.
  5. Ew, do you know how many bacteria is on the bottom of those feet?
  6. You don’t know who touched that before you.
  7. I know you didn’t just say what I thought you said.
  8. That’ll kill you…
  9. Eat. You need your strength
  10. That’s not to touch.
  11. You obviously weren’t thinking
  12. (Finger in nose) EW! *Squirts hand sanitizer on her hands first, then child’s.
  13. I’m gonna show you what I mean in a minute

The Sarcastic Mom

Common Phrases:

  1. Is that the loudest you can cry? Give it up.
  2. Climbing on the counter again? How’d that work out for ya last time?
  3. I don’t always need to see what your food looks like when you chew.
  4. Do you think you can raise your brother better than me?
  5. Keep that little footsie to yourself.
  6. Great, now  you probably have staph.
  7. Really? Really!
  8. Go ahead, see what happens…
  9. You don’t like to eat green beans? Well I don’t like to see you pick your nose at the table.
  10. What are you planning on doing with that?
  11. You really thought that would work?
  12. Digging for gold?
  13. I’m going to knock you into next week if you don’t stop

The Emotional Mom

Common phrases:

  1. *Sees baby crying & cries along*.
  2. (See toddler climbing on counter) Quickly swoops baby up and hysterically says, “you could have died!”
  3. I remember when you were first beginning to eat solid food.
  4. I don’t know where I went wrong. (cries)
  5. Don’t you love each other?
  6. When you were a baby, you touched everything.
  7. After everything I’ve done for you, I can’t believe you said that.
  8. P l e a s e   don’t
  9. I made one of everyone’s favorite food!
  10. You are too young to be doing that.
  11. I’m praying for you child.
  12. You are embarrassing me
  13. I can’t take this anymore

The in-yo-face Mom

Common phrases:

  1. Keep crying and I’ll give you something to cry about!
  2. You’ve been warned. You are not a monkey!
  3. Could you chew any louder?
  4. Do you want to be punished too? No? Then stay out of it!
  5. You think you’re a bully? Try that on me.
  6. Did you see a sign that said Touch Me?
  7. Oh no you didn’t just say that.
  8. I mean it!!
  9. Eat what I cooked or be hungry.
  10. Take your hands out of your pants!
  11. Use your head for something other than a hat rack.
  12. Do you want your friends to call you a booger picker?
  13. Don’t make me jap slap you

The Strict Mom

Common phrases:

  1. (Baby begins to cry) Zip it!
  2. (See Toddler climbing on counter) Time out!
  3. If you can’t chew with your mouth closed, go to our room.
  4. Go to your room. You are both grounded now.
  5. No Wi-Fi. Go to your room.
  6. Stop it.
  7. I heard that!
  8. No.
  9. Let me see  your hands. GO wash them again with Soap this time.
  10. Stop…no really, STOP!
  11. The next time you think of something like that, just don’t.
  12. (Smacks hand of booger picker) No
  13. oh…Oh…OH!! You’ve been warned

The Proper Mom

Common phrases:

  1. It’s okay to cry as long as you wipe each tear independently and before it has been on your cheek more than one minute.
  2. Our feet go on the ground.
  3. We chew with our mouths closed.
  4. Your interference was not requested to discipline your brother.
  5. Keep your hands and feet to yourself.
  6. You look with your eyes, not with your hands.
  7. (Ignores anything child says that she is not proud of)
  8. We mustn’t do that
  9. Sit up straight. Don’t slouch at the table.
  10. I am ignoring what you are doing.
  11. Think before you act.
  12. My child doesn’t do that.
  13. Surely you didn’t just do that

The Extremely Religious Mom

Common phrases:

  1. Lawd help, that baby can feel the spirit!
  2. For Heaven’s sake, please stop climbing. I’m going to pray about this.
  3. Did you pray before you started eating?
  4. Honor your Mother and Father.
  5. Turn the other cheek.
  6. You better be asking for forgiveness if you touched that.
  7. (Shocked) You kiss me with that mouth!
  8. You’ll need to pray about that before you do it
  9. Speak when spoken to.
  10. You are going to go blind.
  11. I pray the Lord will be your conscience.
  12. God sees everything.
  13. I’m praying for you

The Hypochondriac Mom

Common phrases:

  1. (baby crying) Please stop crying before you get another ear infection!
  2. Ahhhhh! You could’ve broken a bone!!
  3. I hope you don’t chip a tooth chewing like that.
  4. It’s not emotional healthy for you to interfere in your brother’s punishment.
  5. Stop. One of you will bruise.
  6. Quick!! Wash your hands!!!!
  7. Great!!! You said it.
  8. Stop before you die
  9. Did you wash your hands?
  10. Go wash your hands!
  11. You didn’t think this through, did you?
  12. Get your finger out of your nose, do you even remember where it’s been?
  13. You could’ve been killed

The Everybody’s Mother

Common phrases:

  1. (crying child) Oh, come here baby…you need a hug.
  2. Get down (said with BIG eyes).
  3. It’s rude to chew with your mouth open. (said with a smile)
  4. Best stay out of it.
  5. I don’t want to see that again.
  6. Did I just see you touch that?
  7. You want to repeat what you just said?
  8. I wouldn’t do that if I were you….
  9. Eat supper with us 🙂 Sit down. Now!
  10. What are you expecting to find down there?
  11. Next time, you may want to think about it before doing it.
  12. Need a tissue?
  13. Not good

The Gentle Mother

Common phrases:

  1. (Child crying) Oh honey, it’s not that bad. I love you!
  2. Gently sweeps child off counter and to the floor- Be careful darling.
  3. Close your mouth to chew sweetheart.
  4. Although it takes a village to raise a child, I am doing just fine.
  5. Hands are for hugging, not for hitting.
  6. Now now, we must not touch.
  7. I’m sure you don’t mean that.
  8. Stop. Please don’t.
  9. I hope you like what I made.
  10. Could you go do that in your room?
  11. Your mind is powerful. Think before you speak or act.
  12. (Hands tissue) Blow your nose.
  13. Oh no. I can’t believe you would do that.

The Frustrated Mother

Common phrases:

  1. You think crying will save you?
  2. (Toddler climbing on counter) Squeezes eyes closed then back open. Hand on hip. Get DOWN.
  3. Ew, close your mouth to chew.  I don’t want to see that!
  4. I don’t need your help parenting your brother!
  5. If you make me get up, it’s going to be 100x worse for you.
  6. Good grief, if you don’t stop touching everything, we are going to get kicked out of here!
  7. Did you just say that?
  8. I’m serious as a heart attack!
  9. You MUST wear pants to the table.
  10. Stop playing with your p*nis
  11. What were you thinking? Oh wait, you weren’t!
  12. Stop eating your boogers!
  13. You are going to wish you never did that

No matter which you identify with the most, you are still a mom and probably under appreciated a bit.  Here’s to all the Mommas out there.

Happy Mother’s Day!!

***Special Thanks to my friends who gave me some of this golden material. I love you, you hot Mommas!

Apples to Apples

She called me the other day to tell me that she had gone to her first cousin’s nursery.  As I mentioned in a previous article she loves flowers. It’s something that gives her peace, tranquility, and gives her a productive way to pass time. She was really excited about the availability of herbs there. She exclaimed happily, “there’s Rosemary, mint of all kinds, cooking herbs like basil and Sage – bushes and trees. Your heart will be happy when you see everything.”  Before I realized it we had been talking over the phone for over 20 minutes! The best part was that she could hear me. It was a two-way conversation. 🙂 She and I have not had very many two-way conversations in the last couple years. Her hearing has been slowly leaving her for the last 15 years. And over the last couple years it’s been so bad when she calls, she just tells me something, can’t hear my response, then she’ll just hang up when she’s finished talking. 

She’s in her eighties now.  She and I had a very rocky relationship for the first 20-25 years of my life. On my side it was a love/but-don’t-want-to-be-near-you thing from time to time & on her’s it was a love/frustration thing.  I’m quickly approaching my 40th birthday in a few days & maybe this is why I’ve chosen to write about her.  It’s therapy for me. It’s an understanding of who I was as well as who I am now.  I don’t think that 40 is old, but I’ve always thought of it as a halfway point in life. Now that I’m here, I realize how awesome she is and I was never able to see that before.

Edna Hensley

Mom, me and my brother – around 1980

By age 40 she had already lived a very eventful, energetic, entertaining and absolutely amazing life.  She taught herself to play guitar when she was about 10 years old by watching the older gentleman in town play. She was fiercely independent and generally self-taught in just about everything. She had worked on the farm, went out with her sisters, was a waitress at Blue Circle, and sewed at Standard Knitting Mill. She had a couple of short-lived marriages, experienced living independently, and enjoyed attention as an entertainer. She met Dad in a club (he was the entertaining musician of the night) & joined up with his talent to hit the road as an entertainer. She recorded in Nashville and was courted there by some big-time small names.  She used her resources & connections to boost & mold Dad’s career. When she realized some of the contractual deals he had made in the music industry, she took over and became his manager of sorts. She started negotiating his deals.  With her resources, resilience, and intellect they made a lucrative living.

She married  for the rest of her life, for better or for worse, in 1968. She was 33 years old. She had always wanted children but for some reason biologically could not bear any herself. She prayed and she had almost the entire city praying with her – that she would have children. And one day, in 1976, her prayers were answered.

There was a phone call from a lady that they knew on the south side of town. This lady said if you still want a child you can have my youngest, but you have to come and get him right now.  Dad went to pick up the ugliest baby boy in the world, who would become my brother. (If you ever read this dude, you know I love your ugly face.) They had him for several weeks when they received another phone call from another lady. This lady said to them, I’ve heard that you wanted a baby and I’m on my way to the XXX Home for Children with both of mine. To make a long story short, this is where I come into the picture.  There’s an argument over whether I was two-and-a-half or three months old at the time, regardless I was a baby. I was a pretty sick baby, so she leaned toward my experienced Aunt Evlou to help for the first few nights.

At 40 years old she adopted my brother and I. At a point in her life when other people would be considering retirement, taking it easy, trying to finalize how they want to enjoy the empty nest years, she became a parent. I never gave it much thought in previous years, but now that I am approaching that very same age I realize what a heroic feat that was!

At this point in my life, I am very close to the empty nest years. I cannot image chasing a little one around and changing diapers at this age! Most of mine have moved away and I only have one teenager left at home (on a daily basis) – who will leave me soon I’m sure. I am considering the future, and how I would love to retire one day. I’m dreaming about buying an RV and traveling, or purchasing the boat my husband wants and sailing up & down the coast for a few years. I’m considering how I want to rearrange the rooms in the house and could create an office and workout/hobby room in those empty spaces. My Mom was considering how to convert a music studio into a nursery and buying formula, diapers, while seeking parental advice. I wake up in the middle of the night to text messages asking me for gas money; she woke up in the middle of the night to check on two infants breathing.

To be continued…

 

I’m not like her, am I?

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Noticing the changes that occur in all of us as we grow older is chilling. It’s a reminder that this life is not forever. It can also give a subtle reminder to enjoy each day as though it were our last.

My mother was always very happy while she was working in her flowers. My grand mother was the same. I also very much enjoy all the time I get to spend outdoors and my flowers make me happy too. Isn’t it funny how we become so much like those who raised us? Some say that they are nothing like their parental figures, but if taking an honest look, we all become like them in some ways.

There was a day when I would cringe and possibly fight someone if they said, “You sound like your mother.” I was very young then. I have a birthday fast approaching and will be nearing the mid-point in my life. These years, especially the last 4-5,  have been my pinnacle period where I have been happy, satisfied, loved, content and enjoying the day-to-day. I have also come to understand my mother in ways that I never thought possible. So now that I can see her with different eyes, I feel it a compliment if someone compares us.

Here she and dad are a few months before they adopted my brother and I

Here she and dad are a few months before they adopted my brother and I

 

 

There are stories that aren’t appropriate to hear when you are young that fall on your ears as you mature. Your parents had a life before you. Their personalities and previous life experiences might impress you if you take time to listen.

My mother was a beautiful young lady that turned heads everywhere she went. She had an appeal about her that attracted many people. She was also very forthright and spoke her mind. She was called blunt, uncaring, hard, and mean. She was a savvy business woman who knew what she wanted; this drive and desire overflowed into all she touched. She was obsessed with continued learning and was enthralled by conversion with someone well-educated. She was firm yet loving and she was stern yet compassionate. She had some less desirable traits as well, but don’t we all?

The thing I admired her most for was taking me in. She was 40 years old that year, in 1976. I was just a few months old.

To be continued….

Ending a day with Pooh – wait, what?

A few days ago we had a family talk with the kids about being a stronger & united family unit instead of pointing fingers at each other & declaring “I didn’t do it” or “It was him, not me”. It went well. Each of us came up with something to do to take responsibility for our family’s success.
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Fast forward to the next day…

One of the boys took his part of the family talk serious. He decided he would do more things around the house to help out. We were all getting ready to go to supper & didn’t see him inside. When I looked outside, he was raking leaves in the front yard. 🙂 I smiled & was proud of him.

I walked over to where he was & told him I was proud of him. Nick came outside & saw him next. He also reinforced this positive behavior 🙂

We all went to supper & ate. In the truck on the way back home, I heard one of the boys talking about something stinky on the bottom of their shoes.

Fast forward again…
We are home, changed into our night clothes, and my son (previously praised for his good deed of leaf raking) is in the kitchen under low light scrubbing his shoes.

From the other side of the house, I hear Nick yell, “Chrissy!!”
It was pooh. [Pooh everywhere.] My son was scrubbing pooh off the tread of his shoes in the kitchen sink. The kitchen had tiny flecks of pooh and pooh juice all over it. There was pooh on the wall, the window blinds, the sink, the dish drainer, the “clean” dishes, counter tops – you get the picture?

My son had stepped in a massive pile of pooh while raking the leaves and he thought he was doing another good deed by cleaning the pooh off his shoes…in the kitchen sink!

We spent the next half hour with bleach in the kitchen cleaning the result of his shoe cleaning, which resulted from the good deed yard raking, LOL!

I love my boys, I love my boys, I love my boys!!!

The Sport of Motherhood!

The Sport of Motherhood!
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The definition of a Mother in my mind is a selfless, patient, observant, willful woman whom loves children; not just the fruit of her womb, but all. I get my definition of Mother from my mom’s example in life.

There are no classes to enroll in that prepares a woman for motherhood. There’s no fancy degree awarded once this position has been granted. There are levels that can be achieved, but there is no Final Exam, EOC, or ECA.

Here’s my version of motherhood:
LEVEL 1 (Preparation): mental roller coaster. Begins with conception. Part 1 First Trimester – either begins in absolute bliss & gratitude or anger & frustration with the male involved in the act.
Part 2 Second Trimester – acceptance and love. Love being pregnant. Loves the baby. Accepted the “baby shape” her body took on.
Part 3 Third Trimester – ends in absolute bliss & gratitude or anger & frustration with the male involved in the act.

LEVEL 2 (Trial Run, warm-up, Beta phase)
This level is inevitable. All new mom’s know everything, yet know nothing. Receiving unsolicited advice not acceptable, yet asking questions is. During this test run, babies are accidentally scratched, bumped, diapered too loosely or tightly, baby poops on the last clean outfit & is destined to hang out in the buff cutely, formula is mixed wrong, the blanket is forgotten in Spring/Autumn/Winter, and the bottle runs out before mom makes it back home for more. (Not everyone breastfeeds.) During all events, mom looks around to determine if anyone saw her & is deeply embarrassed even though each oops is private & unnoticed! She learns from each mistake and grows.

LEVEL 3 (Dentistry & Theater)
During this level, use of recently acquired cry decoding skills are tested. Mom may think she’s failing. Baby needs mom – clingy yet squirms when held. Many new acts & scenes are created to satisfy baby. New voices, faces, dancing & twirling, musicals are performed. Accents are developed & mom begins to speak baby to adults unknowingly. Once the culprit is discovered (evidence of tooth or fever, unsolicited advice is given, or grandma steps in) mom is determined to help the teeth make an entrance! Many dental therapies are attempted (gels, ice, rags, toys, massage, pacifier, etc). After 1st & 3rd tooth arrive, mom’s an expert!

LEVEL 4 (Case Study/Analytics)
Testing commences on food studies. New cereals/foods are introduced. Gag reflexes are studied and results are documented and shared. During Pediatric check-up results are proudly delivered. Poop Analytics begin. More unsolicited advice is administered.

LEVEL 5 (Olympic Training)
Several new sports are mastered.
A. One hand hip hoist – picking up baby from floor with one hand free
B. Hurdels – running & jumping from one side of the house to the other while jumping gates, toys, or sippy cups to reach baby just in time before certain disaster.
C. Diaper Dash – changing diaper quickly in public before anyone notices…or smells it.
D. Clean Sweep – leaping, running, crouching, and reaching quickly to tidy the house when unexpected company or guests arrive
E. Spelunking – skill of saving baby from heights (cabinets, refrigerator, tables, stairs, or banisters at incredible speeds
F. CrossCountry Running – Running at gravity defying speeds to catching baby across a yard, field, park, or grocery/retail store.
G. Geocaching – locating a sippy cup/pacifier when dropped or thrown into a field, thicket of brush, driveway, park landscape, or retail store dump bin of merchandise.

LEVEL 6 (Literature and Audiology)
Reading to toddler. Teaching new words & phrases. Baby learns to mock & repeat…everything. Embarrassing and unsolicited phrases acquired from other children & family members. Baby repeats said phrases in public or church. Mom buffers impact, apologizes & corrects baby.

LEVEL 7 (Electrical Engineering)
Learns how to revive electrical devices after food, slobber, water, or impact damage. Items include VCR, DVR, DVD player, MP3, IPOD, cell phone, remote controls, PDA, etc)

LEVEL 8 (Gymnastic Floor Exercise)
Lego high stepping, lil green army men dodge, baby gate hopping, toy reach, baby swing, and toy ducking.

LEVEL 9 (Acceptance, Accolades & Admission)
This level occurs multiple times: Daycare, Preschool, Kindergarten, Middle School, High School, Driving, Graduation of any form, College, Engagement, Marraige, Grandchild announcement.

To sum it all up, mothers are a special breed of people. Any woman can morph into this status, if she is selfless.

Happy Mother’s Day Mommy! I love you 🙂

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