******Warning******This post may induce vomiting
Some people are born with an iron stomach. They can eat anything, smell anything, touch anything and seemingly nothing grosses them out. Others have a very touchy queasy tummy and just can’t handle disgusting smells, tastes, or consistencies. These people have what we call a weak stomach. Around here, we have a combination of both kinds š
A few nights ago, my husband and I were watching television in the bedroom. The kids were off doing their own things (playing video games, doing homework, and watching television in the living room).Ā In the bedroom we were watching Click. It’s such a touching comedic movie about how much family and time with loved ones means more than time spent at work making a living.Ā Here’s how the last 2 minutes played out…
Just as Adam Sandler falls to the ground outside the hospital trying to get his son’s attention we hear a tiny knock on the door. We ignored it, both thinking once the kids don’t hear us answer, they’ll wait till the movie has finished. Afterall, this is the touching part. I’m crying and my husband is tearing up too.
Adam Sandler’s son runs to him and the rest of the family is surrounding him on the pavement, covering him with umbrellas to keep the rain off him. We hear another tiny knock on the door. ” Surely, they can wait till the movie ends”, we both think. Several more tiny timid knocks on the door in a row…My husband jumps up, cracks the door and says very quickly, “we’re watching a movie. It’s almost finished. We’ll be out in a minute, Okay?” He shuts the door and sits back down. We finish the movie and Nick says, “Well, let’s go see what the boys wanted. XXX had a sad bewildered look on his face.”
My husband beats me to it. He’s standing in the hallway talking to XXX (my oldest son). “What’s going on?”Ā My oldest answers, “I got sick.” My husband cautiously walks to the other end of the hallway as if he’s scouting out new territory and peeps around the corner. “C H R I S S Y!!!” He calls to me. About this time I’m in the Hallway on the other end. There’s about 15ft between he and I and I hesitate…”What?”
“OH my GOSH, It’s horrible. Come here. Oh my…what happened again?” he replies.
“Great, I guess I’d better go”, I think to myself. I made my way to the end of the hallway and I see XXX standing there with the most pitiful look on his face. He’s pale, sad, and dismayed. I also see a mop bucket and smell the problem. It’s nasty…it’s vomit…with nasty chunks in it and it’s EVERYWHERE. I could tell he attempted to make it to the restroom, but only made it to the door about 7ft shy of his target (the toilet). It dawned on me that we put off answering the door to finish that awesome movie about how important family is and in the process neglected some family right here. How ironic!
“Why are you using a mop to clean up chunks son?” I ask.Ā Suddenly I hear the other two boys as they peeked out the door of their bedrooms. From the distance I hear, “Hey, yeah…we tried to help him. We gave him the mop and the bucket.”
“What?”, I exclaim, “you gave him the bucket and mop, then abandoned him? This has been here for at least 10 minutes. This is not fresh. You can’t mop up something chunky!!”
“Yeah, well, we don’t want to get sick,” another son replies as he speaks through his hand covering his mouth. The bedroom door shuts and they disappear. I hear gagging from their room.
My husband just stands there, mesmerized by the puke. Mouth gaping open, trying to figure out how one person could vomit so much in only one event. He even begins to scratch his head and mumble out loud about it. “It looks like there’s a dead chopped up body in the floor. What did you eat XXX? How can one person do this much? Oh yuck, it’s on the walls all the way in here too. It stinks. Gross. What did you say you ate?” He went on and on…
Rubbing XXX’s shoulder, I say “XXX, if you feel better now, please go to your room and lay down. I’ll finish cleaning this up.” XXX goes to his room saying, “I’m sorry” over and over again. “Don’t be sorry honey”, I answered his mumbles.
I began gathering the supplies I would need to clean up the nasty mess and my husband is still mumbling trying to figure out what XXX ate. At this point I wanted to burst into laughter, but I was still upset with the other 2 boys that knew very well the mop and bucket would just make a bigger mess. Just as I had almost gathered everything I would need and had removed the bucket and mop, I hear my husband begin to gag.
In my head I’m thinking, “Who wants Chowder?”
He ran to the kitchen sink. He gagged over and over again, but didn’t vomit (Thank God! If he had, I would be cleaning the kitchen sink too.) I began to remove the chunks and dispose of them.
About 1/2 way through the chunk removal, my husband says, “Oh yuck, it’s in the cat’s bowls. Just throw them away.” I just kept on cleaning. “It’s on the walls Chrissy!” he says. I kept on cleaning. “Honey, LOOK! It’s all the way over here too! Just throw that rug away.”Ā I kept cleaning.
In my head, I’m thinking “Who cares what he ate? Thanks for showing me it’s in other rooms though. Why are you freaking out?” He gagged a few more times, but I must give him props, he stayed right with me until I was completely finished cleaning the hard wood, the tiles, the base boards, the walls, the toilet, the sink, the hallway, and parts of the living room. He gagged, all three of the boys gagged, but we all survived and no one else got sick!
All this I found comedic because of the irony of the movie vs what my son was trying to tell us, the younger boys hiding in their rooms and abandoning their older brother, XXX gagging as he was trying to clean up his own mess, my husband’s odd chatter and wanting to throw everything away, and the cat’s reaction was funny too. He paced the floor for over an hour meowing loudly because his precious food bowl and water dish were contaminated!Ā Between these boy, my husband, and this event – it’s a real wonder that I didn’t go ape crazy!Ā I guess God gives mother’s an iron stomach to deal with their families daily. I just never appreciated before how iron my stomach is.
“We gave him the mop and bucket.”
“A chopped up body…”
OmGoodness!!! Rock on, iron woman, rock on!
Hahaha š thanks!
Oh dear lord, I am dying here!!!! Literally tears rolling down my face. I have brothers – I get it lol.
The irony is fantastic. Your nerves are steel. You humorous is rock solid. Your husband …. well, if he ever needs a new career, I’d recommend sports commentary over crime scene investigator lol.
So glad you liked my post else I’d never have found this gem. Nothing shall slip past me now š
Thank you WildinVirginia š
I laughed til I cried, had sympathy gags for your husband and boys, and I think I smelled it…!
LOL š Oh no! Thanks JHenry
LOL…”who wants chowder?” Certainly not me after reading this post. I’ve been known to do some gagging myself. Obviously, I’m not a mom. Funny, funny, funny post!!
Hahahaha š Thank you GrayGoose š
I had a similar experience when my son was young. First my husband wanted to vacuum it, then he came out with a towel laced with baby powder around his face and my extra small rubber gloves stretched across his extra large hands. We still laugh about it.
Some of our best memories are the grossest one š
Lol…. I can so associate with it…:)
Thanks for stopping by dear š
Thanks for visiting my blog. Glad I’m not the only one stuck with the weak-stomached (only in the case of vomit) husband. We are talking about a man who cuts his thumb open down the middle, cleans it up and goes on. But he can barely handle someone else’s gagging!
Oh my goodness! I can soooo relate to that! Ha! š
We are long past the days of messes, dirty bums and wet diapers, and trust me we don’t miss them.
Thanks for visiting my blog.
Lucky for you š And thanks š
I am sorry but I had to laugh at this. One of the things I used to tell my husband when the Sunday School were doing that special child nativity, and we felt nervous about the kids doing their parts right. I would say, “Just plan on someone vomiting, and if that doesn’t happen, it will be a success!” Those vomits come at the most inopportune times! Love that parenting!!!
(I have decided Spaghetti is the worse to clean up, but I will agree, as the kids age those vomits really start to get rancid) (Thanks for peeking at my blog post)
LOL, you are right my Dear š I loved the title to your last post: The GrināGetās Grinnier!
oh my! poor guy! poor you! only a mother, for sure… š hope he’s feeling better soon!
Thank you. He is. He only had that bug (or whatever it was for 48 hours). š
I love this! I can’t count how many vomit episodes we have had in my house! Awesome!
LOL, thanks for the encouragement š
Oh my! I can relate completely. With four kids, I have become accustomed to the most vile things imaginable. š Hilarious post!
Oh my goodness…yes, with 4 children, I’d say you are. My hat is off to you Dear š
Wow. Sympathy up the wazoo for this one!
Thank you š It was certainly one of the more disgusting things I have had to deal with in a few years, Lol š Let me tell ya…teenager puke is nasty!!
Being a mother certainly has it’s rewards š
Agreed š I wouldn’t have it any other way š
I read this post few times ago. Since, everytime i clean my children poos i remember this. It is sooo true..i guess we,mothers are made to be good at anything even the yucky ones.
I firmly believe that God made Mothers special š Thanks for stopping by again Vinarahmati
” I guess God gives motherās an iron stomach to deal with their families daily. I just never appreciated before how iron my stomach is.”
Very true… Thanks for stopping by my blog š
You’re welcome. Thank you for commenting š
I know exactly what you mean… Ummm, no I don’t….
I’ve cleaned up plenty of spews and poohs and know that I have years of more to come.
Dads CAN have an iron stomach too… *shakes head at your husband*
I believe you sir. Us ladies just don’t hear from the other side much š I am so glad you gave us all your insight too š Thank you
Recent Blogroll Additionsā¦
[…]usually posts some very interesting stuff like this. If youāre new to this site[…]ā¦
I can totally relate and I think only a mother can be outraged that others wanted the one throwing up to clean up the mess..I was a teacher of preschoolers before a mother….Poop didn’t bother me…Vomit did…Now…meh it doesn’t bother me…But never fear my gag reflex has manifested on other things now….
š Thank you for stopping by š Feel free to stop in again.
It’s great that your husband scouted about and found all the vomit for you! As for the actual cleaning up of vomit, I don’t think my husband has ever done that in his life.
Chunks and the smell are so awful, I’m having flashbacks…
BTW, thanks for stopping by my blog! Parenting and marriage seem to be an endless source of anecdotes and I have to find the humor in them, otherwise I’d go crazy.
I totally agree with you. If we didn’t laugh, we’d go crazy š
Oh how I’ve been there. Ugh. Great post!
Thanks Shirley š
Gag!! Laughing through is whole post. My daughters refuse to eat the food that made them sick. Meatloaf and rice is $&@” to clean. The splatter is amazing, isn’t it?
Yes! š
That is exactly what would happen at my house. Wives you all are awesome.
Why thank you! š
You’re wonderful! I have a pretty tough stomach except when it comes to vomit. The look?? No. The smell?? Heck no!!
All in a day’s work š
i am gagging n laughing at the same time š
Well, both my kids are very sensitive. They gag almost over everything that seems dirty.
š Kids…gotta love ’em
It’s amazing that women/mothers aren’t ape crazy after what we go through and have to put up with.
But what happened with your son is just part of life. We deal with it and move on. Hopefully no one else got the bug, especially you.
Thanks Shell,
I’m happy to say that after the extensive clean up, no one else caught that bug š
Any time I am wishing I had kids I’m going to read this post…I gagged just reading about it!
LOL š God gives mommies a special lining in their noses so they don’t blow chunks along with the kids as they clean up š
Now, my mother doesn’t have an iron stomach, the sight of blood makes her vomit. My dad used to think he had an iron stomach (leadbelly)until late 1996, when he came down wtih Guillain-Barre Syndrome (GBS).
Which one changed diapers & cleaned up the sick kids? I can totally believe the roles could be reversed š
Only a mom could handle that for sure š
PLUS
when the hubs is sick it’s like having another kid. I have cleaned up messes for him too lol
ps, thanks for ruining chowder for me dang it! š
I’m not promoting any shows here at all, but look up the phrase “Who wants Chowder” on you tube and watch the family guy skit. I very much dislike Family Guy (lude & rude things it teaches) but someone showed me it once and I laughed so hard I cried! I could see that episode playing out in our house!!!
I’m laughing because last night, my oldest vomited all over my living room carpet (and the couch). As I was cleaning it up (while my husband did much what yours did), he threw up again. And again. Poor kid threw up until almost 3 AM. And Mom faithfully cleaned it up each time, whilst Dad slumbered the night away. His gag reflex completely can’t handle smells of any sort (he was the type to pull his t-shirt over his nose when he changed a diaper).
Why is it that men have to analyze the puke, origins of the puke, and causes of the puke instead of just cleaning it up?
Hope your child feels better soon.
Thank you dear. He’s actually been home from school sick for 2 days now. But, this is day 3 of vomiting & he’s added diarrhea now.
I don’t understand the guys’ reactions either. I guess if there truly is a need to analysis it, they could do that after it is cleaned up!
I have to say that now that the boys are much older, their messes when they are sick are certainly more putrid. They are 14-16 years old now and the messes only get bigger as they age. Yuck š
I hope your son feels better very soon too! š