Momma-tude is the attitude of a Mother.  This Mom attitude is not one to be ashamed of but rather one to be admired. But, what exactly is a Mother’s attitude? It’s part of her personality. It makes her who she is. It helps define her in her everyday life. Momma-tude is also a common reaction or feeling amongst a group of Mom’s.  There are many types. Which one are you?

The Accident waiting to happen Mom

Common phrases:

1. Please stop crying before you drown in your tears.
2. Get down from there before you fall off and break your neck.
3. You know, chewing with your mouth closed prevents lock-jaw.
4. You’re going to end up in the same type of trouble when you get older if you don’t learn from your brother.
5. Don’t touch it. You don’t know where that’s been.
6. This place is full of germs.
7. Talk like that will get you arrested.
8. Don’t try it…
9. Foods ready. Come on everyone. It’s time to gain 10 lbs!
10. That’s not a toy. Put that thing away for the next 20 years!
11. What were you thinking?
12. You are going to cause a nose bleed
13. Just think about how bad that could have been

The Over-Protective Mom

Common phrase:

1. Oh honey, stop crying before you bust a blood vessel.
2. (Catches mischievous toddler immediately as he begins to fall off counter.) How did  you get up there this time? One day you’re going to kill yourself.
3. You will choke if  you chew with your mouth open.
4. I need you to go to your room for your own safety.
5. Ew, do you know how many bacteria is on the bottom of those feet?
6. You don’t know who touched that before you.
7. I know you didn’t just say what I thought you said.
8. That’ll kill you…
9. Eat. You need your strength
10. That’s not to touch.
11. You obviously weren’t thinking
12. (Finger in nose) EW! *Squirts hand sanitizer on her hands first, then child’s.
13. I’m gonna show you what I mean in a minute

The Sarcastic Mom

Common Phrases:

1. Is that the loudest you can cry? Give it up.
2. Climbing on the counter again? How’d that work out for ya last time?
3. I don’t always need to see what your food looks like when you chew.
4. Do you think you can raise your brother better than me?
5. Keep that little footsie to yourself.
6. Great, now  you probably have staph.
7. Really? Really!
8. Go ahead, see what happens…
9. You don’t like to eat green beans? Well I don’t like to see you pick your nose at the table.
10. What are you planning on doing with that?
11. You really thought that would work?
12. Digging for gold?
13. I’m going to knock you into next week if you don’t stop

The Emotional Mom

Common phrases:

1. *Sees baby crying & cries along*.
2. (See toddler climbing on counter) Quickly swoops baby up and hysterically says, “you could have died!”
3. I remember when you were first beginning to eat solid food.
4. I don’t know where I went wrong. (cries)
5. Don’t you love each other?
6. When you were a baby, you touched everything.
7. After everything I’ve done for you, I can’t believe you said that.
8. P l e a s e   don’t
9. I made one of everyone’s favorite food!
10. You are too young to be doing that.
11. I’m praying for you child.
12. You are embarrassing me
13. I can’t take this anymore

The in-yo-face Mom

Common phrases:

1. Keep crying and I’ll give you something to cry about!
2. You’ve been warned. You are not a monkey!
3. Could you chew any louder?
4. Do you want to be punished too? No? Then stay out of it!
5. You think you’re a bully? Try that on me.
6. Did you see a sign that said Touch Me?
7. Oh no you didn’t just say that.
8. I mean it!!
9. Eat what I cooked or be hungry.
10. Take your hands out of your pants!
11. Use your head for something other than a hat rack.
12. Do you want your friends to call you a booger picker?
13. Don’t make me jap slap you

The Strict Mom

Common phrases:

1. (Baby begins to cry) Zip it!
2. (See Toddler climbing on counter) Time out!
3. If you can’t chew with your mouth closed, go to our room.
4. Go to your room. You are both grounded now.
5. No Wi-Fi. Go to your room.
6. Stop it.
7. I heard that!
8. No.
9. Let me see  your hands. GO wash them again with Soap this time.
10. Stop…no really, STOP!
11. The next time you think of something like that, just don’t.
12. (Smacks hand of booger picker) No
13. oh…Oh…OH!! You’ve been warned

The Proper Mom

Common phrases:

1. It’s okay to cry as long as you wipe each tear independently and before it has been on your cheek more than one minute.
2. Our feet go on the ground.
3. We chew with our mouths closed.
4. Your interference was not requested to discipline your brother.
5. Keep your hands and feet to yourself.
6. You look with your eyes, not with your hands.
7. (Ignores anything child says that she is not proud of)
8. We mustn’t do that
9. Sit up straight. Don’t slouch at the table.
10. I am ignoring what you are doing.
11. Think before you act.
12. My child doesn’t do that.
13. Surely you didn’t just do that

The Extremely Religious Mom

Common phrases:

1. Lawd help, that baby can feel the spirit!
2. For Heaven’s sake, please stop climbing. I’m going to pray about this.
3. Did you pray before you started eating?
4. Honor your Mother and Father.
5. Turn the other cheek.
6. You better be asking for forgiveness if you touched that.
7. (Shocked) You kiss me with that mouth!
8. You’ll need to pray about that before you do it
9. Speak when spoken to.
10. You are going to go blind.
11. I pray the Lord will be your conscience.
12. God sees everything.
13. I’m praying for you

The Hypochondriac Mom

Common phrases:

1. (baby crying) Please stop crying before you get another ear infection!
2. Ahhhhh! You could’ve broken a bone!!
3. I hope you don’t chip a tooth chewing like that.
4. It’s not emotional healthy for you to interfere in your brother’s punishment.
5. Stop. One of you will bruise.
6. Quick!! Wash your hands!!!!
7. Great!!! You said it.
8. Stop before you die
9. Did you wash your hands?
10. Go wash your hands!
11. You didn’t think this through, did you?
12. Get your finger out of your nose, do you even remember where it’s been?
13. You could’ve been killed

The Everybody’s Mother

Common phrases:

1. (crying child) Oh, come here baby…you need a hug.
2. Get down (said with BIG eyes).
3. It’s rude to chew with your mouth open. (said with a smile)
4. Best stay out of it.
5. I don’t want to see that again.
6. Did I just see you touch that?
7. You want to repeat what you just said?
8. I wouldn’t do that if I were you….
9. Eat supper with us 🙂 Sit down. Now!
10. What are you expecting to find down there?
11. Next time, you may want to think about it before doing it.
12. Need a tissue?
13. Not good

The Gentle Mother

Common phrases:

1. (Child crying) Oh honey, it’s not that bad. I love you!
2. Gently sweeps child off counter and to the floor- Be careful darling.
3. Close your mouth to chew sweetheart.
4. Although it takes a village to raise a child, I am doing just fine.
5. Hands are for hugging, not for hitting.
6. Now now, we must not touch.
7. I’m sure you don’t mean that.
8. Stop. Please don’t.
9. I hope you like what I made.
10. Could you go do that in your room?
11. Your mind is powerful. Think before you speak or act.
12. (Hands tissue) Blow your nose.
13. Oh no. I can’t believe you would do that.

The Frustrated Mother

Common phrases:

1. You think crying will save you?
2. (Toddler climbing on counter) Squeezes eyes closed then back open. Hand on hip. Get DOWN.
3. Ew, close your mouth to chew.  I don’t want to see that!
4. I don’t need your help parenting your brother!
5. If you make me get up, it’s going to be 100x worse for you.
6. Good grief, if you don’t stop touching everything, we are going to get kicked out of here!
7. Did you just say that?
8. I’m serious as a heart attack!
9. You MUST wear pants to the table.
10. Stop playing with your p*nis
11. What were you thinking? Oh wait, you weren’t!
12. Stop eating your boogers!
13. You are going to wish you never did that

No matter which you identify with the most, you are still a mom and probably under appreciated a bit.  Here’s to all the Mommas out there.

Happy Mother’s Day!!

***Special Thanks to my friends who gave me some of this golden material. I love you, you hot Mommas!