There are many things to write about on my mind and we have had adventures that still have not made their way to this blog yet. There is one thing that’s just weighing heavy on my mind now though – Friends & their Mothers.
The boys (all 3 of them) go to friend’s homes and their friends come here to ours to spend the night or hang out. I love to meet new people and I have a strict policy about meeting people first before my children go off to someone’s house. Maybe it’s how I was raised that has rubbed off on me, but I like to make sure that no one is making meth in their bathtub before I send the kids off packing to stay an evening with them.
I don’t judge, condemn or compare myself to the other parents I meet, but I have met some parents over the past school year that do. Everyone is different. Some of these meetings leave me scratching my head as I left totally speechless.
If you have any children maybe you can relate. If your children are very young, just wait…you’re in for it too. (No child or parent’s names will be listed and these are in no certain order.) All conversations begin the same way: “Can X spend the night mom?” I reply, “yes, but I need to speak with their mom or dad or whoever they live with first”. Then I usually hear, “Okay, I’ll send you their #. ” I usually start, “Hi, I’m X’s Mom. He asked me if your son could spend the night and I said that was fine, but wanted to speak with you to make sure you knew and it’s alright.”
Random Kid #1 Experience: “Uhm, okay. Yeah, thank you for calling. I already told him he could. The boys have already decided everything and made plans between themselves”, is the answer I received.
“So, you’re fine with it?” I ask.
“Yeah”, she replies.
“Do you want to know where we live?” I ask.
As the phone clicks to signify the hang-up, I hear, “No, the boys will work it out.”
**End result: The child was relatively well-behaved. I had to make several phone calls to find the mom to take him back home.
Random Kid #2 Experience: “I am so glad you called. I wanted to meet you before sending X over to your house and make plans to pick him up tomorrow.I feel more comfortable talking to you first, seeing if we know any mutual people and such.” (This parent spoke to me for over an hour.)
This child was a handful, but is welcome any time to come back!
So, sometimes the roles are reversed and I am the one calling because my son is asking me to be able to spend the night at another kid’s house. These conversations always start with, “Hi, my name is Chrissy. I am X’s mom. He has asked me if he could spend the night with your son and I wanted to speak to you, make sure you are aware and okay with it, and will be home with the boys.”
Random Kid #3 Experience: “Oh yeah, X asked me and I said it was okay.” Long pause…”Do you know where we live?”
I get the address and then ask what time she would like for me to pick up my son the next day.
“Just …whenever…is …fine …I …guess”, she answers. “They’ll be shooting each other in the yard most of the day, so just any time should be fine.”
“What!? Did you say they’ll be shooting each other?” I clarify.
“Oh yeah”, she says as she huffs into the phone. “X’s big brother will be there with them overseeing everything to make sure no one gets hurt. They do it all the time. We have extra guns if your son needs to borrow one. Do you need my son’s phone number so you can text him and get all the details?”
“What?! I think I must be hearing you wrong. Did you say they are going to be shooting each other?” I ask again.
“Yes,” she said through a giggle. “They do it all the time. We live on a farm and have several acres. The boys make obstacle courses, wear extra clothing and shoot each other.”
🙁 Geez…she wasn’t kidding either!! 🙁
Random Kid #4 Experience: “Oh hi! It’s fine for X to come over! I’ve met him and love him! He can stay as long as he likes and I’ll be here with the kids the entire time. They may shoot some basketball, play video games, and watch movies. Does that sound good?”
🙂 I reply, “Yes!!! That sounds great!! I can pick him up any time you’d like tomorrow. I can’t wait to meet you when I drop him off!”
So come on moms, chime in! Am I alone in this crazy world we live in? Would you let your child go to some of these homes? Some were great, some where not. Do you call and speak to the parents of the children before your kids go to another’s house? Would you allow your teenager to go to another kid’s house to be shot with or without supervision? Am I paranoid?